April 5th-update from yesterday!

April 5, 2008 - Saturday
update form yesterday Current mood: bitchy
first off i want to thank you all for your support and encouragement. whenever my slow hubby gets here i am going to give BF another go tonight. i forgot to mention that when they make him a bottle it is not formula but BM ive been pumping since ive been pumping my life away(or at least it feels that way). ;)) he has NEVER had formula and he had to be on a bottle until yesterday as he wasnt old enough (gestational wise) for him to know how to BF. but since hes doing so well with the nipple on the bottle they figured he was ready to try BF. so we shall see how tonight goes. on monday the lactation consultant who works in the hospital will be coming by during one of our "sessions" to observe and give more pointers. she was a greatr help yesterday morning but was already gone by later when it all went downhill.
So today has been a stressful day too. i think i just need some sleep but i dont have time as i either need to be at the hospital, now watching vinny (which is a never ending job obviously), or going ot get something to eat only to go back to the hospital again. i feel like if im not there at the hospital then i look like i dont care or that im a bad mom that i am not with my son at all times but i have vinny too and i cant keep him entertained at a hospital all day and he needs time and attention from us too. this brings me to my 1st attmept to birning vin with me to see Owen this morning (my 1st time bringing him without sean) and lets just say if we wouldnt have left we wouldve gotten asked to leave. he was telling me and the nurses NO, he tried kicking one of them when she was trying to tell him he needed to be quieter as he kept yelling and scaring the babies. he wouldnt sit in one spot. aaahhh!!!! so we left! we tried again later today and i left him strapped in the stroller and rolled the tv cart over again (like we tried this morning) but i had gone out and bought him the movie cars after we ate lunch in hopes this bribe would work. it did for an hour! YEAH!! then we had to go as he was wanting out of the stroller. so i got to hold owen which is more than i got to do this morning.
i am now awaiting my hubby who left later form work and then took his sweet time leaving the house. i know its all cuz im stressed and tired and anxious to ge thome but i have been getting snotty with him and mean as he doesnt seem to understand (im sure he does but hes never been one to say how he feels or what he wants) how im feeling or why it is soo important for him to be here. he has had to go back to the island and work all week and now is almost here (he just called me) and he is supposed to be off sun-tues (he has to go back tues night for work wed morning through thursday) but apparently whomever is supposed to work the night watch on monday wont get back form cali in time for it so its ebtween him and 2 other guys to take it. i wa slike he is oging ot be all the way down here he is not oging to go back up on monday morning to come back down for tuesday morning to leave back there on tuesday night.t hats RIDICULOUS!!! One of the other 2 guys they couldnt get ahold of but the one who was there (one of his friends whom hes known since A school said he didnt want to do it as he has to work all day monday. well im sorry call me a BITCH but who cares if you have to work all day monday and thn tuesday night...your friend has a baby in the hospital and he NEEDS to be here for owen and vinny and i! to me that should take top priority and it just upsets me to think they could care less. i so hope he gets to stay down here after this next week. ugh. well, hanks for lettting me vent again.

********Update on Owen and when theyre saying his release date may be***
He is officially 4 lbs as of last night. since he is full bottle fed he now only has to go 5 days witout a brady before we can go home. hopefully towards the end of april. he went two days the other day then had one. the nurses said they think he’ll be out of here by April 20th but thats their guess and they spend the most time with him. i hope so as that would be an AWESOME bday present for me...the 20th is my bday and it owuld be SOO nice to be home as a family and to have all this behind us. also since he is full bottle fed he is also eat on demand so no more every 3 hrs. whenever he wakes up and acts hungry they feed him and he gets to decide how much. he was only getting 42 ccs while on a schedule but with him deciding he has been eating 60-70ccs every 4 hrs or so. so he should pack on the pounds in no time!!! we might have a 5 lber by the time we go home. i guessed hed be mid 5 lbs when we get to go home.